It's gonna be okay
by fluffyfinchelcake
Summary: Oneshot. Izzie tells Alex about her pregnancy, witch leads to more. For my girls at the AI thread! AlexIzzie Lexzie


_Hi there! So, I was talking to my Lexzie crazy buddies on the AI thread, and we were discussing a scene when Izzie will tell Alex about her pregnancy. I came up with this, and Gizem wanted me to write a oneshot about it ) So, here it is! The end is dedicated to you Wala! ;D So, this is a month or so after season 4 finale._

Izzie pulled up on the driveway to the house, turning her car of. She had almost kissed Derek when he had told her she could get the night of. Kissing Derek wouldn't have been smart though. One, he was engaged to one of her best friends, and two, she didn't even want to kiss Derek. She smiled to her self as she locked the car and walked up to the front door. She got her key into the lock and opened the door.

The warmth of the house made her sigh of relief. This was her first on call free night in a week. Things had been really hectic at the hospital, and running a clinic wasn't as easy as it maybe sounded. She didn't get how Bailey had done it all. The clinic, being a surgeon, chief resident, her family. Izzie admired her. She really did.

"Alex?" She called as she took of her jacket. She had no idea if he was there, maybe he was on call. Meredith wasn't there, that was for sure. Derek was on call, and he always putted Meredith on call with him. Romantic and annoying. She hadn't gotten an answer, so she went out to the living room. As she had expected, she could see the back of her roommates head through the window to the back of the house.

"Hi."

Alex looked up, seemed to have been woken up from deep thoughts. He smirked a little, raising a hand to hit against hers. It was a little thing they had started doing. Like a little high five. "Hey. Want some beer?"

He offered her his half empty bottle as she sat down on the bench, next to him. She smiled and took it, drinking.

"So, why are you sitting out here? It's freezing."

Alex laughed a little, looking out in the dark night. "Yeah, I know… Im just… Thinking about stuff, you know."

Izzie watched him with a little smile. She had discovered a long time ago that it was hard for her to keep her self from falling for guys. She did it fast and easy, and she fell out of love with them as quickly. George was a great example for that. With Alex, it was different though. She had fallen for him a long time ago, and she wasn't sure she had ever stopped falling. She was pretty sure, watching his handsome face as he stared at Meredith's ugly flowers, that she still was falling.

"What kind of stuff?" Alex shrugged, taking the bottle from her.

"Just stuff. You know, old stuff."

So, it was one of those nights. Izzie moved closer. "You wanna… You know, talk about it?" She had asked that question a few times. It was close to a month since he had broken down, and he had been avoiding talking about it. She didn't know if it was because he was embarrassed, and in that case, was it because of the kiss or the crying? Okay, now she was totally letting her thoughts ramble. That had been happening a lot lately too. Damn Alex and his amazing kisses…

"My family was pretty normal. Up to fourth grade, we were just like any other family."

Izzie blinked. He was talking. He was letting her in.

"My dad started acting weird. My mother told me that everything was okay. She kept telling me that…" Alex went silent, and Izzie shrugged a little.

"Maybe she was more telling her self?" Alex looked up at her. "You know, like Meredith says she's fine so many times that I don't even count anymore." That made Alex laugh a little, witch brought a smile on Izzie's face.

"Maybe she says it because she wants to believe she's fine." Their eyes met, and for a few seconds, Izzie swore she saw some of the old Alex in his eyes. The Alex she had fallen in love with. Then he looked away.

"Yeah… Maybe." He sighed. "I just wish she had stopped, and we could have left him… Before he started to… You know, beat her." Izzie nodded a little, looking down. Alex looked at her.

"I don't want to be my dad, Iz." Izzie looked up in surprise. "You are not your dad, Alex. You are far from your dad."

Alex shrugged. "How can you be so sure? What if I get married and start a family…" He swallowed hard. "I mean, he's my dad…"

"Stop." Alex looked from the hand Izzie had placed on his arm to her face. Izzie's glaze was serious. "I know you, okay? You will never be your dad. That family will just have the best dad they could ask for. And I know that you could never lay a hand on your wife. You are…" She swallowed, blushing. "You are amazing." Izzie dared to look up and meet his glaze. Alex smirked a little, placing his hand on top of hers.

"Thanks… And, you are amazing too." Izzie felt her self blush even more, and she smiled shyly, looking away. They fell into a comfortable silence.

"I wanted a kid." Izzie looked up as Alex broke the silence. He turned to look at her, shrugging.

"Maybe I didn't want to really have a kid with her, but I wanted that kid."

Izzie smiled a little, nodding. "I know."

"It was just something about a baby that made me wanna do better… You know?"

Izzie nodded again. "You got the daddy rush." She giggled a little as Alex pushed her in the side.

"Shut up." He grinned to her before he emptied the beer bottle.

Izzie hesitated. Alex was letting her in, telling her about his past. And he didn't know about… She swallowed, looking down. "I got pregnant when I was 16."

She could feel Alex turn to look at her, but she didn't dare to meet his glaze. "By some jerk that dumped me the second I told him. He left me, without caring about my pregnancy at all…" She felt Alex stroke her hand that still was resting to his arm.

"My mother told me to get an abortion. But I couldn't… I knew that I wouldn't be able to take care of a baby, I mean, I was in High school, living in a trailer, and I was working after school to stay alive. There was no way I wanted to put an innocent baby in that situation. But I couldn't kill it, Alex…" Izzie looked up at Alex's supporting eyes with her tearful ones. "I couldn't… So, I went through the pregnancy, and gave her away for adoption. That…" She swallowed hard, a large lump forming in her throat. "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I wanted to give her a life. The chance I didn't get."

Alex nodded softly. "It was the best choice Iz…"

Izzie nodded, whipping a tear away from her cheek. "She is sick. Her parents came to the hospital with her, and I did a surgery. I was a good match, they needed me."

Alex blinked, surprised. "Iz, how did I not know this?" Izzie shrugged a little.

"You were too wrapped up in her…" It was funny, how none of them would say her name. Izzie didn't know Alex's reason, but she was pissed at the woman that had taken up so much of Alex's time. She knew she had been sick, but that hadn't stopped her from being jealous.

Alex sighed. "Oh yeah… So I guess O'Malley…"

"He was there for me." They fell into silence again.

"Sarah…" Alex looked at her. Izzie smiled, her eyes filling with tears. "I named her Sarah. But her… They named her Hannah."

"Those are nice names." Alex said softly, resting his arm behind her.

Izzie felt the lump in her throat grow larger. "She didn't want to see me. I… My own daughter didn't wanna see me…" She felt the walls that had been holding her tears back break. She started to sob, and Alex wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. She cried into his neck, shaking. She cried harder than she had ever done before. She guessed the tears weren't just about her missed life with her daughter. She cried because she was just so tired. Tired of everything. Her past, things she had done wrong with Denny, George… All the stupid stuff she had done to hurt Alex. She didn't want to live like this anymore. Didn't want to keep denying her feelings.

"It's gonna be okay…" Alex murmured into her hair, stroking the back of her neck.

Yeah, things were gonna be okay. She took a deep breath, lifting her head of his neck to lock her eyes with his. The emotion in his eyes reflected what she felt. It was time for them to stop denying. They had lived in denial long enough. His warm hand caressed her cheek, and she placed her slightly shaky hands against his chest. She knew that the ball was in her court. He had kissed her and been rejected so many times. He had showed her on million ways how he felt, and now it was her turn.

His thumb slid down her jaw as she placed her lips to his, kissing him with as much emotion as she could. He kissed her back, moving her closer. She slid her hands up to the back of his neck, her arms wrapping around him. They hold on to the kiss as long as they could, but soon they both were in desperate need of air. Izzie smiled as her forehead softly hit against Alex's. Alex searched her eyes. "Iz… Are you really sure…"

"Shut up…" She whispered softly before capturing his mouth in another amazing kiss…


End file.
